Dear Paragrinus,
It has seriously been one hell of a week; a whirlwind of sensation. Little sleep, proposal heart attacks, loads of reading, midterms, papers, a romantic date, funtastic party, and chill weekend have all accumulated into a fast paced streamline blur of reality. I think as I'm getting older that I'm beginning to realize its the smallest things that you can take out of life that will bring joy. The other day i was in duress to finish this freakin proposal that I was given 6 hours notice to finish, but at the same time I had a dinner date in the library with my girlfriend while studying. Life is like the ebb and flow of the ocean; if you concentrate too much on ever single wave you'll forget that that turmoil is only a small part of the ocean- with all its serenity, life, and haunting beauty. I was grumbling the other day walking to my car on the Hill when i noticed how fast I was walking compared to this elderly lady. So i slowed down. Maybe the problem isn't the future, but that I forget to live for today also. That my surroundings, environment, aren't just a consequence but a gift that I should enjoy. On that note, don't forget to also look around instead of passing the world. Smell, taste, listen, feel, remember, thank, remember, dig deep....dig deeper. Remember you only live once, make the most of what you think is important. :)
Take Care.
Love Always,
Eric
P.S. Here's a start. Laugh a little. here's a joke to make you smile.
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Moments Notice
Dear Paragrinus,
Lived through the week. More panic attacks. Got a praise from a professor; excited for research once again. But life always sneaks up on you when you think it's going to level out. One of my best friends told me today of a tragedy; a death. Coincidence that I was oddly talking to someone about the fact that literally people you love can die at any moment...and here it happens. A life cut short. It makes you think. Is that last stupid comment, fight, behavior, or act the last thing you really wanted to have said to a certain someone knowing that maybe it could be the last thing ever? Scary. I actually messaged a dear friend of mine who I haven't spoken in 2 or 3 months because of an argument we had. Made me think, regret what could have happened to everyone this person knew. If you really want to read on a deeper level, maybe this blog will interest you also.
http://dearmrjason.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-choose-to-live.html
I beg you, please, reach out. Take a hand or take a life. We are all in this together and the least we can do, is open our hearts. I'll leave you with that. Take care
Love Always... your dear friend,
Eric
Lived through the week. More panic attacks. Got a praise from a professor; excited for research once again. But life always sneaks up on you when you think it's going to level out. One of my best friends told me today of a tragedy; a death. Coincidence that I was oddly talking to someone about the fact that literally people you love can die at any moment...and here it happens. A life cut short. It makes you think. Is that last stupid comment, fight, behavior, or act the last thing you really wanted to have said to a certain someone knowing that maybe it could be the last thing ever? Scary. I actually messaged a dear friend of mine who I haven't spoken in 2 or 3 months because of an argument we had. Made me think, regret what could have happened to everyone this person knew. If you really want to read on a deeper level, maybe this blog will interest you also.
http://dearmrjason.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-choose-to-live.html
I beg you, please, reach out. Take a hand or take a life. We are all in this together and the least we can do, is open our hearts. I'll leave you with that. Take care
Love Always... your dear friend,
Eric
Thursday, October 22, 2009
You thought you were alone...
Dear Paragrinus,
Decided to get off my fat ass today and finally go for run. For me running is a moment during the day of serene escape and tranquility. It's just you, the beaten pavement, and....well that's when it hit me..... I'm never really alone, am I. I had only been running for less than 2 minutes when he appeared. First a shake of the bush, and then a running along the hill, finally erupting from the street and staring at me. Mr. Coyote. He was the size of a medium Labrador, ash gray, and petite. Staring at me, just staring. I started to run again and he trotted behind me, at some distance, till a passing car's headlights melted him into the darkness. The rest of the time I just imagined him following me, nature's midnight companion to my lonely venture. Forget imagination though, rounding the corner in a park there he was again...only this time he stood there and stared at me. I slowed down and stared back, we both began trotting toward each other, passing by in silence; a tip of our boulder hats to each other in respect. I'd like to think that he looked me in the eyes as I gazed upon him, some weird manner of recognition. Take care dear friend
Love Always,
Eric
P.S. With that title I want you to remember dear friend that this was literally an analogy presented to me in reality. You aren't alone. No one is. It may get stressful, sad, lonely, or just about to fall of a cliff frenzy.... but you just have to have faith. Reach out and who knows....who will reach back out and take your hand.
Decided to get off my fat ass today and finally go for run. For me running is a moment during the day of serene escape and tranquility. It's just you, the beaten pavement, and....well that's when it hit me..... I'm never really alone, am I. I had only been running for less than 2 minutes when he appeared. First a shake of the bush, and then a running along the hill, finally erupting from the street and staring at me. Mr. Coyote. He was the size of a medium Labrador, ash gray, and petite. Staring at me, just staring. I started to run again and he trotted behind me, at some distance, till a passing car's headlights melted him into the darkness. The rest of the time I just imagined him following me, nature's midnight companion to my lonely venture. Forget imagination though, rounding the corner in a park there he was again...only this time he stood there and stared at me. I slowed down and stared back, we both began trotting toward each other, passing by in silence; a tip of our boulder hats to each other in respect. I'd like to think that he looked me in the eyes as I gazed upon him, some weird manner of recognition. Take care dear friend
Love Always,
Eric
P.S. With that title I want you to remember dear friend that this was literally an analogy presented to me in reality. You aren't alone. No one is. It may get stressful, sad, lonely, or just about to fall of a cliff frenzy.... but you just have to have faith. Reach out and who knows....who will reach back out and take your hand.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Memory Lane
Dear Paragrinus,
One more thing!.... just wanted to add that I went on my first date with Doris Friday night (10/ 16).
It involved a little bit of everything; the Matador, a bartender with a curled up mustache, Sex in the bedroom (the drink you perves), Ms. Edd, tipsy walks, a huge cockroach, Penne Pasta and Enchiladas Verde at Rutabegorz, night time strolls, getting lost on the 5, a trip down Memory Lane, finding the 5, and ending it all with a little Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (the movie....don't think i can't see that grin you devil you). Smiles, giggles, giddy Eric, deep conversations, laughter with life,and hand holding. Best first date I've been on. Let such days continue, let happiness flourish.
Get some sleep, you look tired.
Love Always,
Eric
One more thing!.... just wanted to add that I went on my first date with Doris Friday night (10/ 16).
It involved a little bit of everything; the Matador, a bartender with a curled up mustache, Sex in the bedroom (the drink you perves), Ms. Edd, tipsy walks, a huge cockroach, Penne Pasta and Enchiladas Verde at Rutabegorz, night time strolls, getting lost on the 5, a trip down Memory Lane, finding the 5, and ending it all with a little Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (the movie....don't think i can't see that grin you devil you). Smiles, giggles, giddy Eric, deep conversations, laughter with life,and hand holding. Best first date I've been on. Let such days continue, let happiness flourish.
Get some sleep, you look tired.
Love Always,
Eric
Elephant in the room
Dear Paragrinus,
I think the storm has finally passed. The past month has seriously been a test for myself. Before work or school even started I was really proud of myself (past self smiling at self), but nature and fate are intertwined and a storm ensued. I met a girl. Not just any girl either, someone special. Let's just note too that during the hole soul searching and mind probing process of myself I was in a relationship that fell through; violently. I have never looked so deep in myself, called upon those I love for answers to questions I thought I had secured eons ago. I was like a kid all over again. You know where you are trying to make sense of something as simple as how clouds float across the sky. They are so massive, light, take the shapes of tigers and bunnies... and yet at a moments notice could shake the earth with a sweeping roar and violent downpour. And here I am once again, back at square one. This time though, I'm not that scraggly 14 year old you remember, nor that 17 year god fearing kid..... I'm truly Eric. Look at me! I seriously happy with who I am. I'm taking on the challenges of school, family, friendship, relationship, an even... religion. I went to a church today, no fire and brimstone. Not everything can be explained, but I may have found a place with infinite answers; a comforting hand to hold. The past 2 years in particular have been rough; stress in school, family problems, RIP uncle, hollow relationships, insecurity about myself and the world, my dogs dying before my eyes.... everyone knows and has felt the same. I'm not special, but I believe that I confronted it in my own unique and developing manner and came out the better; stronger, keener, 2.0, can fly, night vision, kryptonite proof. And I bet you are DOwn RIght wondering what thiS all has to do with a girl?... right? Well it took just one person, one girl, a moment of truth for me to look deeper inside myself that I was ever willing to go to see many of the truths I was either afraid of or hadn't put together yet. It was a case of me sitting in a room full of people and an elephant, only this time the girl next leaned over and pointed to the elephant. Thank you. So dear friend, let us live on, love those around us, and still take every moment of life as a new experience; an opportunity to grow. Take care friend.
Love Always,
Eric
I think the storm has finally passed. The past month has seriously been a test for myself. Before work or school even started I was really proud of myself (past self smiling at self), but nature and fate are intertwined and a storm ensued. I met a girl. Not just any girl either, someone special. Let's just note too that during the hole soul searching and mind probing process of myself I was in a relationship that fell through; violently. I have never looked so deep in myself, called upon those I love for answers to questions I thought I had secured eons ago. I was like a kid all over again. You know where you are trying to make sense of something as simple as how clouds float across the sky. They are so massive, light, take the shapes of tigers and bunnies... and yet at a moments notice could shake the earth with a sweeping roar and violent downpour. And here I am once again, back at square one. This time though, I'm not that scraggly 14 year old you remember, nor that 17 year god fearing kid..... I'm truly Eric. Look at me! I seriously happy with who I am. I'm taking on the challenges of school, family, friendship, relationship, an even... religion. I went to a church today, no fire and brimstone. Not everything can be explained, but I may have found a place with infinite answers; a comforting hand to hold. The past 2 years in particular have been rough; stress in school, family problems, RIP uncle, hollow relationships, insecurity about myself and the world, my dogs dying before my eyes.... everyone knows and has felt the same. I'm not special, but I believe that I confronted it in my own unique and developing manner and came out the better; stronger, keener, 2.0, can fly, night vision, kryptonite proof. And I bet you are DOwn RIght wondering what thiS all has to do with a girl?... right? Well it took just one person, one girl, a moment of truth for me to look deeper inside myself that I was ever willing to go to see many of the truths I was either afraid of or hadn't put together yet. It was a case of me sitting in a room full of people and an elephant, only this time the girl next leaned over and pointed to the elephant. Thank you. So dear friend, let us live on, love those around us, and still take every moment of life as a new experience; an opportunity to grow. Take care friend.
Love Always,
Eric
Sunday, October 11, 2009
In the Begining
Dear Paragrinus,
They say that strangers are the best of friends sometimes. That you can confide in them what you cannot to others; they have no predispositions on your character, nor innate corrupting influences. Maybe some day though, slowly, through tender ears and loving eyes we can become the best of friends. Who knows. You never know where life will take you.
Recently my life has been turned topsy turvy, upside down, and shaken up (lunch money gone). A moment of truth! As scary as it is, I'm starting to face myself and ask questions. Sucks, sometimes that the answers aren't always what you want to hear.... and yet sometimes more than your expecting. I'm actually starting to be happy with myself as a person. It wasn't always like this. I think it was hard growing up being a Happa, bi religious, and a twin because you are developed in a diversity of ways. It has been for the best though; cemented who I am. My happiness. I love being multi racial, multi ethnic, religiously/spiritually curious, and a twin. I think this is a defining moment in my life. I hope you'll stay with me for these few fleeting moments we will be sharing every so often, i believe that we'll have much to learn from each other. Until then
Love Always,
Eric
They say that strangers are the best of friends sometimes. That you can confide in them what you cannot to others; they have no predispositions on your character, nor innate corrupting influences. Maybe some day though, slowly, through tender ears and loving eyes we can become the best of friends. Who knows. You never know where life will take you.
Recently my life has been turned topsy turvy, upside down, and shaken up (lunch money gone). A moment of truth! As scary as it is, I'm starting to face myself and ask questions. Sucks, sometimes that the answers aren't always what you want to hear.... and yet sometimes more than your expecting. I'm actually starting to be happy with myself as a person. It wasn't always like this. I think it was hard growing up being a Happa, bi religious, and a twin because you are developed in a diversity of ways. It has been for the best though; cemented who I am. My happiness. I love being multi racial, multi ethnic, religiously/spiritually curious, and a twin. I think this is a defining moment in my life. I hope you'll stay with me for these few fleeting moments we will be sharing every so often, i believe that we'll have much to learn from each other. Until then
Love Always,
Eric
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